The Story of My Avocado Toast

Last Saturday, I ran just shy of 7 miles, came home, refueled with some of my favorite NUUN energy and some scrambled eggs with toast and avocado – which is a super normal meal for me now. And I thought about how different the girl six years ago would have reacted to that meal.

Six years ago, I would have died thinking about eating an avocado – let alone the entire egg (not just the egg whites!) I would have panicked thinking about all those calories I was putting back into my body post-run, not even thinking about how those ‘calories’ were there to nourish my body and repair the muscle damage. Six years ago, I would have had some oatmeal cooked without anything in it, except vanilla extract and flax seed. Six years ago, I would have freaked out at the thought of eating bread and I am so grateful that I don’t live in that dark place anymore.

I now see food not just as calories. I think for so long, I simply viewed food in numbers – 150 calories per serving, 5 grams of fat, 10 grams of protein, etc. etc. I didn’t really take the time to think about the other aspects to food the nutrients, the experience, the memories.

For so many years, my food was controlled by how many numbers the meal totaled up to and how ‘clean’ the meal was. Now, I see food for what it is nourishment, experiences, memory making, and also calories.

I think it is good to be aware of the food we are putting into our bodies, obviously as an athlete I want to fuel my body with the best sources out there – lean cuts of meat, tons of veggies and fresh produce, fruits, nuts, seeds, and grains. But, I also don’t want to miss out on experiences and memories like enjoying my Grandma’s handmade, special cherry cobbler or Benaiah’s birthday cake, or a romantic ice cream date. To me, these moments like sharing a piece of cobbler with my Grandma or celebrating my son’s birthday or sharing an ice cream cone with my best friend is worth so much more to me than the size of my pants.

Do I care about what I put into my body? Of course. Do I pritoize it? Yes.

I just never want it to control me. For so long, I let it control me, determine how I lived my life, who I ate with, what I ate, when I ate, where I went, etc. And being controlled by anyone expect Christ is bondage and I never want to go back to that dark place. So, what I’ve learned is that food, even though seemingly complex can be simple. I’ve learned that what I eat does matter, my running and physical body are affected by who I nourish my body (whether that’s underfed or overfed) and that memories and moments are not things I want to miss out on, for the sake of my ‘rules’ or restrictions. I’ve also learned that there are seasons for living a little more disciplined too. When I am in heavier training for a race, I think it is wise to eat a little more ‘strictly’ to help my training and race performance to go well, while not being crazy about it. And in the ‘off’ season, my diet is a little more relaxed.

These are things that I’ve learned and seem to work for me and I would love to know what works for you.

What I do know is this – my happiest seasons of life and best running seasons have been when I am not caught up in the food/diet culture. And that feeling of freedom is a feeling I will keep chasing.