One of “Those” Seasons and What God is Teaching Me Lately

First of all, I almost didn’t publish this post, because I didn’t want to sound whiny or over-dramatic. But, then I thought maybe someone will resonate with this and it will encourage them, so I started typing and just let it flowwww…

This summer, I headed into it with full expectations, goals, plans, and basically my ‘life,’ planned and figured out. I had my goals clear in front of me, I had my vision of where I was going with my running/business/blog and life routines all ready to go. And then things started happening.

It all started with my injury. I got injured after my half marathon PR and thought it would easily be gone within a couple of weeks. The injury lasted much longer than expected, putting me out for now three + months (just coming back from it now as I type). After the injury, we found out we were moving, amidst a recent job change. The Lord graciously provided us with a new place to live that we were/are excited about. But with every change (even when it is good, there are hard parts about it. And I’ve been feeling the weight of all the change lately. And then two days before moving, Benaiah sprained his ankle, after moving our fridge went out at our new place, then the stove, then the air conditioning, then my phone was destroyed during a run, and a package that I ordered off Amazon either never came or was stolen…and through all of this (which compared to some people isn’t that much to deal with at all) I felt my joy shrinking and my patience wearing thin. I think an idea that is easy to fall into is that when we follow Jesus life will be ‘easy,’ and good and all sunshine/rainbows/unicorns. And yes, sometimes life is AMAZING. There are awesome, beautiful mountain top moments, there are days and weeks and years that are blissful, with little challenge. And then there are seasons when it feels like everything that could go wrong does and there isn’t a break to the endless trials. Or that it is life will never feel back to normal and everything that is normal and right and routine isn’t. And that’s hard.

However, just as Jesus always does in these seasons, He refines and teaches me things that I could never learn in those glorious seasons of normalcy. And it’s in these moments that I find hope and joy. Something that our pastor shared this last Sunday was, sometimes Jesus calls us into the storm. It doesn’t just, ‘happen,’ He goes there with us. At first, I was thinking, I am not in a storm right now and then I thought about Benaiah’s ankle, the move, my phone, the fridge, the AC, the oven and I realized – what if Jesus is using these things to make me more like Him? What if I am not alone in this, what if He is right there with me, teaching me, refining me, molding me, and drawing me ever near Himself. And in the promise, I can have courage and take hope – that although it may be one of ‘those,’ seasons of difficulty, Jesus is right there, drawing me deeper, closer toward Himself.

Landon has been such an encouragement to me, in the midst of all of the change and little challenges and for that, I am so thankful. And so, I keep hope and choose joy. I know that not every day will I do life perfectly. I know that this journey of life is just that – a journey. And sometimes journeys are filled with beautiful sights and epic beaches and gorgeous sunrises and sometimes journeys have valleys and scary woods and unforeseen pathways. Yet, through all of the ups and downs, the highs and the lows, the joys and the trials – He remains faithful. Faithful to make us more like Him, drawing us ever near Himself and continually reminding me of my deep need, my deep dependency on Him. And in those moments, my heart does echo – O Lord, how I need Thee. Every hour I need Thee. My prayer is that I will continually see my need for him in each season of life, no matter what season it is.

So here’s to Jesus continually refining me and making me more like Him. I do not follow Him because He can promise me a life without pain or trials or uncertainty, but I follow Him because He is good.