How Tightly Should I Hold on?
Something I’ve been thinking about lately is how tightly should we hold onto our goals – as runners, entrepreneurs, go-getters? If you are goal driven, like me, you know exactly what goals you are chasing after today, this month, and probably this year. You may have a goal journal, a running journal, a prayer journal, and goals written on sticky notes, stuck on your mirrors/windows, etc. You probably have goal numbers in your mind for your racing (i.e. sub 1:40 half marathon or a sub 4 hour marathon or sub 30 min 5k) or you may have books on your bucket list and hobbies you want to master.
And if you are like me, it drives you. Goals excite you to do hard things, reach higher, strive to get better, lean in harder, and learn deeper. While zeal and passion may be a strength of yours, it may also be hard to know when to let go of goals and how to walk that fine line of idolizing your goals vs. reaching/working for your goals.
I have found, as a runner with a whole lot of goals and dreams (inside of running and outside of running) that goals are VITAL for performance. If I don’t set a goal for myself, especially a long-term, usually scary goal, I am WAY less motivated to practice the daily discipline it takes to get out there every day and chase after it. If I don’t set goals for my mothering or marriage or house, I find it is easier to simply, not put in the effort and therefore, not grow. But, I have also found that if I cling way too tightly to these goals and put my identity in achieving them, I can be sorely disappointed when I don’t achieve them and idolize the goals, instead of the One who put those dreams in my heart, in the first place.
Having goals, whether they are for your running, health, marriage, family, home, career, or hobbies is so important and vital for growth, but I have also found that is it vital to not place your personal worth or value in achieving those goals OR idolize the achievement of those goals.
Running is a tricky thing, because, as runners know, running can be all consuming. And usually runners are the type of people who naturally obsess. We are the kind of people who geek out of the new types of running gear and set our alarms at 4 am because we are fixating on achieving that marathon. We write down our goals, diligent follow training plans, sacrifice time, energy, and money all for the sake of this passion, this sport that so consumes our time, energy, and thoughts. And we LOVE it. And it is beautiful and good. But, the problem comes when we, as runners, if we are Christians, comes when we start idolizing these gifts that God has given us and start letting it RULE US instead.
I have definitely gone through seasons of idolizing running, my body, my nutrition, and so many other things and let me tell you – it is miserable. Over the years, I’ve seen the Lord work in my heart and open my eyes to His truth about goals, fitness, and running. And although I’ve learned, I think, I know, it is still a lesson He has to keep teaching me – over and over and over again. Usually, I become crazy fixated on running, I eat/sleep/breathe running and it all consumes me and it is when I let it rule my life and my heart – that is when the Lord, most of the times, takes it away for a season. I’ve seen in my life, seasons of idolatry and it is usually followed by a season of injury > go figure. A few ways I know if running is ruling my life is
- If it controls my attitudes/moods throughout the day
- If I WILL NOT be flexible for any reason at all > basically if someone tries to interrupt my run, I am not a happy person
- If running or nutrition or my physical appearance is all I can think about
- If I am tempted to cut devotions or my prayer time short so I can go out for my run
All of these little things are little warning flags in my mind that help me see, maybe just maybe, I have let running (again) take over too much space in my heart. It isn’t wrong or un-Biblical to be passionate about the gifts and passions God has given us. I believe it is a GOOD thing and a right thing to use our skills and passions well. One of my biggest passions is that I want to use this life that God has given me to the fullest, I want to impact people and do hard things for God’s glory because He’s given me the ability to do that – so why wouldn’t I? On the other hand, we SHOULD be willing, to hold our dreams and goals and passions and skills and talents loosely. Ultimately, we are not in control – Christ is. And if a goal doesn’t happen, we should be willing, able, and joyfully say, “You are still good, Lord.”
And I think that this has to come from a heart that is already holding goals and dreams loosely. It doesn’t mean that we don’t work hard for our goals and with every ounce of energy fight for that finish, that BQ, that sub 20 5k, that 1:40 half marathon, BUT it does mean that we know how holds tomorrow and we can eagerly say, “Yes, Lord,” to whatever may come.