Eliana’s Birth Story

Eliana – “God has heard.” Beatrice “She who brings joy.” If there are two top take aways from my second birth experience, it would be that 1. God does hear our prayers and shows up in big ways and 2. The hardest labored for efforts of life bring great joy once achieved. This labor was one of the most challenging and beautiful things I’ve done in my life and I am so excited, to finally (#momlife) share all the details with you.

Gear up, it’s going to be a long one. You may or may not want to grab a snack and or coffee.

Let’s rewind back to Monday, September 9th. I was one day past my due date and feeling so ready to meet this little girl (fun fact: we found out the gender, but waited to announce to the world until she was born!) Anyways, I was more than ready to meet her and feeling restless. Benaiah and I decided to make a day of it and squeezed as much in as we could the day before. Monday morning, we went on a run 1.5 miles or so and enjoyed some time at the park, after the park we went to a museum, coffee shop, got groceries, and went to the eye doctor. That night, we went for a family walk and I could tell I felt so ready to have this girl. I kept having some strong Braxton Hicks throughout the day/evening and kept an eye on them throughout the rest of the evening. Around 4 in the morning, on Tuesday (the 10th) I woke up with some consistent contractions that I couldn’t sleep through. I felt like maybe this was the real thing, so I got up, had my devotions, and sipped on some coffee while keeping an eye on the time. I noticed they were pretty consistently 7-9 minutes apart and felt somewhat strong, but nothing too painful.

Landon and I had planned on having a home birth and I knew I didn’t wan to alert anyone quite yet. Around an hour or so after I was up, I woke Landon up and told him that I thought that it might be happening today, but still wasn’t totally convinced. Benaiah got up around 6:30 (early for him) and by that time I was pretty for sure things were happening. Around 7, I texted my midwife that I had been having fairly consistent contractions and I thought things were starting. She called me and we chatted on the phone, deciding it would be best to labor a little longer on my own and then see from there how things progressed.

We did our usual morning routines (minus the run haha) but by 9 am I noticed the contractions slowing down. Suddenly my 7-9 minute contractions were spacing out 15-30 minutes apart and when I did have one they weren’t that strong at all. I remember feeling confused, wondering if labor was stopping or if it was all in my head. I texted my midwife and she assured me that sometimes bodies do that and not to freak out. Meanwhile, I was coordinating with my mom on when to have Benaiah picked up (I didn’t want to have him home while I labored and delivered at home) and eventually we decided to have her wait to come out until I knew what was happening.

I called my midwife around 11:00 and asked if she could come and check me to give me a better picture where I was, so we knew how to arrange the day/Benaiah’s travels. Isabelle (my amazing midwife) made it out at 11:30 and after checking vitals and monitoring her heart beat said I was 2-3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. It was hard not to feel a little discouraged with that. I had been in labor (even though it was really mild) for a while at this point and still at 2-3. I tried not to let the numbers get to me, but I found it so odd to be so little progressed. We decided to have Isabelle leave for a while and see what happened in the next couple of hours (since I was still contracting only 15-30 minutes apart at that point.)

After Isabelle left, we put Benaiah down for a nap and I tried to rest too. Within an hour or so, I noticed my contractions picking up in speed and intensity and within 90 minutes they were 2-6 minutes apart and stronger than before. I felt immediately relief (in a weird way) thinking that I was getting close. I called my midwife (again) and told her that I was ready for her to come out and called my mother in law who picked Benaiah up. My mom and sisters (and eventually dad) came over to say hello about an hour or so later and prepped some food while I chilled in my room. At this point, around 2-4 in the afternoon my contractions were stronger and more consistent. I eventually had them check me and Isabelle said I was at a five. At this point (laboring for 12 hours or so) I really was shocked. With Benaiah, I labored from 3-12 at home and went into the hospital at 5 centimeters. With 12 hours of labor behind me and only being 5 centimeters I tried hard not to feel discouraged, but the frustration of feeling stuck lingered. Hours passed and Landon and I spent time massaging my back, walking around the house, snacking on some food, and focusing my breathing. After another couple of hours, Isabelle checked again and informed me I was still at a five. I was getting tired at this point and really was convinced I was at a 7-8. We decided as a team (Landon, Isabelle and her assistant Shelly) to break my bag. This was around 8 pm (still kind of a blur on the actual timeline).

Once Isabelle broke my bag the contractions picked up in speed and intensity. Suddenly they weren’t so ‘cute’ anymore and I really had to focus on getting through them one at a time. I labored a lot on the toilet (TMI, sorry) but felt like it really helped speed up the process. In the next couple of hours, I went from 5-10 with some really intense contractions that had me super uncomfortable. Once I hit 10, Isabelle told me she could feel Eliana’s head and said I was close and I could start pushing. This is where things got really weird. With Benaiah, I felt this insane urge to push and literally couldn’t help but not push. With Eliana, I didn’t feel that at all – just insanely painful contractions. I pushed and felt like I was getting no where – and this is where my mental strength started breaking down.

I pushed with Benaiah for 15 minutes and we flew out. But these contractions and sensations were totally different with Eliana and I had no idea what was going on. At this point too, it was 1 in the morning, and I had been in labor for 21 hours. I was exhausted and didn’t have a ton left in me. I pushed in different positions, squatting, kneeling, in the birthing pool but nothing was “working.” I started to feel defeated and confused, discouraged and honestly like I couldn’t give anymore.

I am not a crier and I have a really high pain tolerance, but those contractions and during the 3 hours of pushing (!! yes three hours #insane) I started crying and kind of feeling slightly like I lost my mojo. I felt a little like a crazy person and in despair (I even started falling asleep in between contractions and then waking up to some of the most insane pain I’ve ever felt. That was fun.). I kept saying over and over again, “I am so tired” “I have nothing left in me” “I just want to make it stop” and poor Landon had to help walk with me through it. Shelly, Isabelle, and Landon were the BEST support team and Landon was my hero. He kept giving me really intense counter pressure and encouraged me when I needed it the most.

After three hours of pushing, I was at the end of my rope and everyone could tell. At one point, Shelly looked at me and told me that they were going to let me push for 10 more minutes and if she didn’t come, we would go get help (most likely and epidural and rest.) (PSA – during the entire time they had been monitoring her heartbeat and she was doing great. Just stubborn. haha) I blinked back tears of relief and sorrow. I didn’t want to have to transfer (I couldn’t even handle the idea of a car ride at that point) and also saw that there was relief if I needed it. A couple thoughts swirling my mind at this point – was “No, I don’t want to transfer, she is coming one way or not” “relief sounds so sweet, but I don’t think I could take the pain of the car ride.” “She has to come now, but I don’t think I have the strength to make her come.”

Just before this “10 minute warning” I had pushed a couple pushes and basically gave up during the pushes, crying because I literally had 0 strength left. I was at a full 24 hours of labor and my body was D O N E. Shelly could see I was struggling and after giving me a 10 minute warning, gave me this insanely epic speech. She told me to control my breathing, stop wasting energy crying, and ‘to call out my inner warrior.’ I started to feel like I was in an out of body experience in that moment and started doing what she said. I calmed my breathing, while waiting for the next wave of contraction. I made my way to the edge of the bed and stood up, ready to push in a squatting position (thank goodness for legs strong enough to hold me up!) and then I just started praying. I felt broken and humbled and I simply prayed, “Jesus I need your help, help me Lord.” I visualized what I needed to do and as the wave of the contraction came, I took a couple massive breaths and then I pushed with as much force as I’ve ever done before in my life. The insane thing was, I didn’t even feel like it was my strength, but I know that is was the Lord equipping me to do what I needed to do. I pushed a huge push with enough force that I was lifting up our bed frame/mattress (you literally should have seen it) at that moment, they told me to do it again and I pushed another giant push. And like the best music to my ears, I heard Landon say, I see her head baby. I felt down and felt this sweet head and after another mini push, stopped so they could wiggle her shoulders out.

And with one more giant push, her little body came and Landon caught her, giving her to me. Landon and I both sank back and laughed/cried looking at her for the very first time. She was beautiful and perfect and God had just shown up in a big way, enabling me to do what I didn’t think I could do. Twenty four hours later, Eliana (God has heard) came into the world, bringing such sweet joy we didn’t know we could experience.

She had come out trying to get out with an arm up at her head, the cord around her neck and her head cocked to the side (a couple reasons why it was so hard to get her out.) But, she let out a sweet cry right away and rested on my chest as they took care of the cleaning, delivery of the placenta, and everything else. Landon stayed by my side, taking care of me, and Shelly and Isabelle got us food and drinks (they are literally the best).

This labor was nothing like we anticipated. It was longer, harder, and much more emotionally draining than Benaiah’s, but it was so beautiful too. Landon and I learned that Jesus equips us for everything we need and He answers prayers. Later on, I found out that my mom and dad and my in-law’s (and some friends) all woke up around 3:50 (she was born at 4:05 am) and felt the need to pray for me. Little did we know, that while I was pushing with all of my might, we had both sets of parents and friends praying on our behalf. Literal chills.

I am so thankful for Landon. He was such a support and comfort to me during those long hours of labor. His care for me was supreme and his belief in me was just what I needed. I couldn’t have done it without you, babe. Also, my midwife, Isabelle and Shelly were amazing. They were there such a long time and took care of so many things for us. They were a comfort and so encouraging. We loved our experience with them!

Mostly, I am thankful for Jesus. His care for us was so evident and I found out, in a deeply special way just how much He loves His children.

So thankful to be a family of four, thankful for this healthy, sweet girl and overjoyed at what God has done. Here’s to this new chapter!